What the hell am I on about, I hear you ask. You haven't been paying attention, I smugly retort. It's a theme which I am fully prepared to wager (I am now mildly addicted to Betfair - there's probably a market for it) will be seen at the climax of the imminent European Championships, if not before - the reversal of clothing a la the main gimmick of Kris Kross) as a celebration.
Distin, hitherto not the biggest trendsetter in the image-conscious Premier League (bear in mind that Steve Bruce's move from Birmingham to Wigan was held up by a dispute over an 'image' payment. Steve Bruce!) during his time with Newcastle and Manchester City, while an improbable number of Portsmouth teammates were draped in African flags and huge baseball caps, quietly turned his shirt around. Not a particularly grand gesture, but the action wasn't the important bit.
Elano scored a goal for Manchester City in an FA Cup match televised on the BBC earlier this season and made the most cack-handed attempt to turn his shirt around I've ever seen. he couldn't get his arm out. As far as beginning a new phenomenon goes, nobody there at the time would have had a clue what they had just witnessed.
Distin, who has always reminded me of Simon Webbe of the once popular beat combo Blue (much in the same way Slaven Bilic puts me in mind of Rob Thomas of Matchbox 20), made history that day at Wembley by keeping his shirt backwards even when ascending the ridiculously long and arduous set of steps, tunnels and nooks and crannies, much like Escher's House of Stairs.
On all the photos people might forget which one was Kanu, Lassana Diarra may become a footnote in Pompey history (although he looks more likely to become one of their best ever players from what I've seen), but Distin will live long in the memory for having his name on his front. A very shrewd piece of self-marketing which will ensure that, at the very least, nobody in the future will ever think a member of Blue won the FA Cup.
Evidence that this new trend is set to spread beyond these shores and the more-parochial-than-we-are-ever-allowed-to-believe FA Cup final came in the Champions League final when Manchester United's Ronaldo of three years ago Nani, who I'm not sure played any part in the game and can't be arsed to look it up, 'did a Distin'. I can't help feeling that Nani's gesture was somewhat overshadowed by other events. Ronaldo was trying to eat his medal, John Terry was crying, Ronaldo was crying, John Terry was trying to eat Ronaldo. It was all very confusing and it was late. I may have got some of this wrong.
So, who are the prime candidates to join the Mac Daddy (Distin) and the Daddy Mac (Nani) and make you want to Jump? Obviously if Portugal achieve anything, Nani will no doubt be at the vanguard of the festivities. Otherwise I'd place an outside bet on the Romanians. Remember when they all bleached their hair blond to celebrate getting to the second round of the World Cup? Surviving the group of death would be worth making sure everybody knew your name. And not just in that rubbish way players do when they look over their shoulder and point at their back.
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